Rev. Greg Brown on emotional intelligence in ministry

What Makes Some Chaplains Effective?

What makes some chaplains effective and others not? Perhaps we think of those who have set our spirits afire or called out the best in us. Perhaps we remember their vision, organizational savvy or powerful word. More than likely, however, we also remember them for something else – mature emotional connection.

In talking about the essence of effective leadership, the late Dr. Edwin Friedman refers to a leader’s capacity to offer a “non-anxious presence” to those in need. It is a fine balance requiring the skills of a leader. To assert authority without empathic connection, he says, is to commandeer. To offer empathy without authority is to commiserate helplessly. The challenge of leadership, Friedman asserts, is to remain both non-anxious and present. This is the challenge to today’s caregivers in health care settings.

A chaplain arrived at his new position to find that due to a long-standing personality impasse between a co-chaplain and the administrator of the facility, the entire staff was frozen with anxiety. Passive/aggressive behavior abounded. In an effort to remain “low profile” amid this atmosphere, the chaplain busied himself deflecting the pulls first from the other chaplain and then from the administrator to take sides in the battle. The more passive the new chaplain tried to be the more anxious the staff grew. They were obviously waiting for someone to take charge of this unfortunate situation. It was not until the new chaplain realized his error and decided to change his tact, confront both the co-chaplain and the administrator and begin to outline acceptable behavior with both in the same room together, that things began to change. While understandably nervous internally, he displayed empathy and resolve to the two warring factions. After the new chaplain acted, tensions dissipated.

Corporate consultant Daniel Goleman writes in his most recent book, Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence, “Understanding the powerful role of emotions in the workplace sets the best leaders apart from the rest – not just in tangibles such as better business results and the retention of talent, but also in the all-important intangibles, such as higher morale, motivation, and commitment.” Such healthy elements of ministerial life require of each pastoral leader a sure dose of non-anxious presence and a savvy handling of emotional intelligence.

Effective leadership requires the ability to choose between different leadership styles amid varying contexts. As the chaplain discovered in handling the impasse between his two colleagues, assertive action may be necessary when all gears are stuck in order to get the machinery moving again, even if this particular style may only be useful in the short term.

Still, there are other styles with a broader range of impact. Goleman suggests four:

Flexible leadership requires a discerning eye both inwardly in terms of remaining non-anxious and present to the community of workers and outwardly in terms of the appropriateness of response. Effective caregivers work on this regularly and seek support for the effort. They recognize the importance of staying connected to themselves as well as their constituents and colleagues. To underestimate the need for such emotional intelligence in ministry is to invite ineffectiveness and eventual burnout.

Rev. Greg Brown is an ordained member of the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church and a member of its Conflict Transformation Taskforce. He has served local parishes for over 20 years and has been a pastoral counselor for over 12 years. Currently he coaches pastors and chaplains and facilitates “Clergy Case Teleconference” groups nationwide. The next series of groups will begin in mid-September. For more information, see “Conferences, Workshops and Educational Opportunities” or visit his web site at www.gregbrownonline.com.