The Rev. Cari Jackson on the power of choice

Choices Motivated by Love

Everyday we have the opportunity to make choices — some large, some small. Sometimes the options are so slim or grim, we may feel like we have no choices at all. Often we focus on the quality of the things we have to choose from. But the real issue is what is directing our choice-making. That is, what is the greater influence directing our life choices — love or fear?

When I was in college, I read The Purity of the Heart is to Will One Thing by Søren Kierkegaard in which he raised this question: Why do you serve God, because of a fear of hell or a love of God? This question transformed my world. Because my religious teaching was deeply influenced by a fear of G-d, fear was the basis of my relationship with G-d. Then I realized how much fear was the operating paradigm that dictated all of my life. And because I was afraid to “mess up,” I often did not take the risks and the leaps of faith needed to help me experience myself as a whole and courageous person.

Some argue that if people did not have the fear that G-d would zap them for wrongdoing that they would abuse G-d’s love. Because this theology of fear was instilled in me, at first I could not get it that G-d’s love for me is so great that no matter what “wrong” turns or “bad” choices I made, G-d would always search, find, and bring me to where I needed to be–like the parable of the lost sheep. Over time, because of the challenge presented to me in The Purity of the Heart, I began seeking to make choices in relationship to G-d and all of life with a focus on love. To my surprise, as I focused more on love, I had less desire to engage in any activities that did not honor G-d, myself or others. And the more I focused on love in all of my relationships, career choices, etc., the more joy, power and freedom I discovered in all of my life.

Perhaps you have been making choices directed by fear for so long that you don’t even know when fear is leading you or how to follow love. So here are some things that work for me.

• Trust that whatever choices you make or path you take, G-d will be with you and will use the journeying of your life for your growth and G-d’s glory. Remember, it’s not about the destination, but the journey.     
• Check how your body responds to your thoughts about your current choices, especially your head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, stomach, and hands. What is your body telling you? If you feel fear, ask your body what you are afraid of.
 
• Go deeply within your spirit, through meditation and prayer, in order to access information within you beyond the level of judgment and fear about what the “good and right and whole”path is for you now.
   
• Invite someone with whom you feel safe to sit with you and listen to you while you speak about the choices before you. Your partner is not to interrupt you, just listen. Invite your partner to ask you clarifying questions. Then, ask your partner to share what s/he heard and felt is primarily directing you—love or fear.

Choices motivated by love — even though you may make mistakes in the process — enable you to see more clearly and to live more fully, freely, and authentically. Choices about jobs/career, relationships, self-care, finances, and so on become more life-affirming and consistent with your life goals and values when you are directed by love.

Do you have thoughts about spiritual development you’d like to share with your colleagues? Send an e-mail of any length to info@PlainViews.org.