My CPE Pilgrimage—From Student to Supervisor

As an imam, spirituality has always been a big part of my life. But my pilgrimage into CPE began when my cousin Donald died from AIDS in 1996. I needed some answers and, at the time, just reading scripture was not enough. I was also working part-time as a security guard for Rap stars, a bail enforcer, and an alcoholism counselor. After my cousin died, I talked to friends. One of them told me about CPE. He said it would force me to confront my deepest emotions.

When I enrolled in CPE, I thought I was there to learn to teach patients religion. I approached the process as a doer rather than a learner. But I soon I opened my mind to being a student, and I began to realize it was a very different experience, one I knew I needed.

Intense daily interactions with others in the hospital raised personal questions: How do I understand God to work in the world? What family traits, what old hurts do I bring to my ministerial relationship? How is my past repeated in the present? How easy is it for me to accept criticism? Eight months after my cousin’s death, I was working on an HIV/AIDS unit (a placement I chose), and constantly dealing with my own emotions.

I worked with five wonderful CPE supervisors at The HealthCare Chaplaincy who, each through their own gifts, helped me to learn from my emotional reactions and to grow in my ministry. They changed my life and my work so much, that it inspired me to think about becoming a CPE supervisor myself. The Prophet Mohammed spoke very highly of teaching— it’s an obligation in Islam, to teach all people, even those outside the Muslim religion. I enjoy helping people explore; I learn from the students as much as they learn from me.

There are only two board certified Muslim chaplains in the world—myself and Al Hajji Yusuf Hasan. There are no Muslim supervisors. My becoming certified will help me to attract more Muslims and African Americans to the field of CPE. The ideas used in CPE are often foreign to many African Americans who do not readily talk about their feelings openly. But I believe they will be receptive with the right kind of education. CPE encourages people to speak honestly about what they’re feeling, and through that process become more able to be present for others.

This September I was granted candidacy status by the ACPE Eastern Region Certification Committee to become a CPE supervisor— a difficult challenge. I couldn’t have done it alone; the support I received from my supervisors and colleagues are what made this first step possible. I am the first Muslim to take this path. Anytime anyone takes a new course, there will be bumps and bruises. But because of where this path leads – for me and for my community – there is no question that I will stay the course. And I know my friends and colleagues will be there to help.

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