Remembering To Exhale

Don't you just hate it when you're upset, and someone tells you to take a deep breath and exhale? I know for myself that used to be the last thing I wanted to hear. I remember thinking yeah right, what is breathing going to do! But, remembering to breathe is just one of the many things we can do when we're feeling badly. I've learned that if I don't exhale, I begin to lose control of my life. By just remembering to breathe in — and OUT — I can do just about anything.

When we are surprised, shocked, panicked, stressed, or have flashbacks — we automatically inhale fast and deep, but usually forget to exhale. After several years of keeping our breath inside, our feelings also build up and we begin to feel stuck. When this happens we begin to feel like we can't do anything.

Why is it so important to breathe? When you stop breathing, your brain stops receiving oxygen. When that happens, you can't think clearly, and you can't solve problems. I know for myself when I can't solve problems I start to feel stuck, helpless, unable to move beyond the point that I'm at.

If you stop and think about it there are several types of breathing. One is the kind women learn in Lamaze classes. They teach mothers-to-be to reduce labor pains, with two short breaths out, and one long, deep breath in. Remember, the key concept to relieving pain is breathing out. This is true for both physical and emotional pain.

When we are about to take a test at school, for a job, confront someone about something that bothers us, we may take a deep breath in, but how many of us remember to let it go? I wonder how many deep breaths are stuck inside each and every one of us. How many of the feelings attached to those breaths are also stuck inside us? I also wonder how many of us develop stress-related illnesses because we forget to let go of our breath. Breathing in and out can help us think more clearly, and alleviate stress and anxiety. Paying attention to our breath can also help bring us back to the here and now, when we are having flashbacks, or when we are frightened by a memory and/or thought.

I think the two most important things about breathing is that we all know how to do it, and it’s free. You don't have visit the doctor to get a prescription to breathe. We are born already knowing how and when to breathe. I've never heard of anyone overdosing from taking slow, long, deep breaths and then exhaling slowly. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone dying from it either. So the next time someone reminds you to breathe, remember he or she is trying to help you learn to live.

© Vicki Polin, MA, ATR, LCPC

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