Pinchas Zohav with a poem about a life as a pastoral caregiver

On a Life of Chaplaincy…

It’s not Okay
That
You reach an advanced age
Only to feel alone, depressed abandoned, unappreciated and
With no one left and with nothing to look forward to
The rest of your days.

It’s not Okay
That
You lie alone in your hospital room
Broken, healing, uncomfortable, and in pain,
Wondering, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?”
With no one to be with you, listen to you, and share your
Feelings of helplessness in one of the darkest times of your life.

It’s not Okay
That
You find yourself imprisoned, alone
Anxious, intimidated, in a menacing sea
Feeling deserted by your community, forsaken by God
With no one to visit you, witness your unique being,
Celebrate your essential humanity; share your fears and hopes,
And to hold out the possibility of a life beyond your bars.

It’s not Okay
That
You and your family find yourselves trapped in a relationship
Unloving, abused, victimized, perpetrating, victimizing,
Not knowing how to communicate your feelings, your thoughts
Without someone who will see you for who you truly are a
Child of the same God, who will be there to support you
As you struggle to survive and to seek your way out.

It’s not Okay
That
You find yourself institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital
Forgetting who you are, sometimes for day and weeks,
In a drugged haze, “for your own good.”
Disrespected, managed, and manipulated - as if you were
A helpless fumbling idiot, child, a sub-human nuisance.
Without someone nearby who cares to be by your side as you
Struggle to reclaim your life, your dignity, and your humanity.

It’s not Okay
That
You awake one day in hospice, or alone in your home
In the last days of a life you have just been living
Wondering about the meaning of that life, your life
Angry with yourself, enraged with God,
Angry for living in a pain that just won’t go away.
Without someone to be there, share your suffering and confusion,
To help you re-view the riches of who you are, have been,
Come to Peace, commemorate, and celebrate your living.
Why me?
Because I, too, have felt…
Alone, abandoned, isolated, powerless,
Trapped, victimized, forgetting who I am,
Misunderstood, managed, manipulated,
Disrespected, confused, aching, and in pain.

We are children of the same God.

And if my being with you
Witnessing, sharing your life, feelings
Helps you grow towards wholeness,
In touch with your wonder and awe,
Expanding your capacity to love and to praise God,
Re-knit yourself into the Web of all Life.

Then our lives together,
Our time on earth
Will have been well and truly spent.

Love,
Life, Laughter,
God.

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