The Rev. Seung-Jin Yun on helping Koreans deal with anger

Nothing Can Separate Us from the Love of God

In 1995, the American Psychiatric Association added Hwa-Byung (Anger Syndrome) to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as a Korean cultural syndrome. Hwa-Byung is caused by people suppressing their anger. This impacts upon their bodies with symptoms that include: insomnia, fatigue, depression, digestive trouble, lack of appetite, shortness of breath, etc.

Expressing anger is seriously frowned upon by Koreans. Historically, this comes from the influence of Confucianism, which taught Koreans to respect and obey authority without complaint—even if they thought the authority acted unfairly. Korean Christianity also teaches that expressing anger is a sin. This makes it especially challenging for Korean Christians to dare to express anger with God, who holds the highest authority. When a minister visits church members who are suffering, that minister usually demands that the members show faith in God without complaint or anger, but with positive thinking and hope. This is particularly true for women because Confucianism formed Korea into a male-dominated society. As such, obedience and endurance is expected from women by men.

Since introducing Christianity and Western culture, Korean society has been changing, but Confucianism remains influential.

In 1984, when I was seriously ill, I sometimes felt angry with God. As a Korean woman, I could not express my anger openly. One night, I felt that God was looking upon me with merciful eyes and was pleased with me just as I existed. I realized that God loved me, whatever I said or did. God is greater and more merciful than I had thought.

In 1995, I participated in a CPE-like class in Korea. Surprisingly, I was taught that chaplains needed to help patients freely express their feelings, even anger with God. Soon I realized that more Korean Christians were afraid of expressing their anger than I had thought. As a Korean, I too was uncomfortable and sometimes even afraid. In addition, many patients criticized me for having an improper attitude as God’s servant, especially as a woman. Despite this, I shared my personal experience and offered them opportunities to express themselves, even when they were angry.

In 2002, I came to the United States and started my formal CPE training. I learned from my former supervisor, Rev. Paul Steinke, that by using the Psalms I could help patients who seemed to suppress anger find the right words to express their true feelings. I learned from my current supervisor, Rabbi Bonita Taylor, that by using the Lamentations I could express my own feelings more deeply. Then through my own experiences, I could be more empathetic and help patients express their anger.

I believe that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God: neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither suffering nor our anger (see Romans 8: 37-39). I believe that even though I sometimes complain to—and feel angry with—God due to my suffering, God still loves me as a parent loves a child.

I will continue with more confidence to help all patients—including Korean patients—to express their anger freely when they need to, using my learning and experiences.

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