Rev. Dr. Martha R. Jacobs on claiming what we do

Learning from the Fingerprints on Our Hearts

I recently returned to the hospital where I did several CPE units as a student chaplain. It is my neighborhood hospital but I had not had a reason to be there since finishing CPE. The hospital was founded by the Episcopal Church so there is a beautiful chapel located where the main entrance used to be. There are marble steps leading up to the chapel and it has a balcony which was used to let families view the body of their loved one if the person died in the Emergency Room or OR and had not been admitted to a floor.

For old times’ sake, I decided to visit the chapel. As I sat in one of the pews, memories flooded back to me. I remembered my first patient visit, where I was able to stay in the room for a whole 10 minutes and then wrote that visit up in a verbatim. (I subsequently learned from my fellow interns that I had not done as well as I thought I had done!) I remembered the nurse with whom I had developed a wonderful relationship and with whom I had deep theological discussions, who suddenly died. I remembered my first overnight, where I had to deal with an extremely upset and outraged family in the balcony of the chapel as they viewed the body of their 26-year-old loved one who had died from a gunshot wound. I thought about the mother of a three-year-old little girl who was unconscious, who sat vigil while her daughter died from an AIDS-related illness. That same first overnight, I sat for three hours with the mother, talking and praying and just being there. I remembered the Jewish man who was dying. His rabbi came to see him and as the rabbi recited the Sh’ma, I could see the patient physically relax. We spent the night sitting vigil together while he died. I remembered the scene in the ER where I had been paged because a child had shot himself. I was startled when I walked into the room to discover a Caucasian mother sitting there. It was at that point that I realized that I had to deal with some racist issues that I had not realized I had buried within me.

So many more memories. I was surprised at my own feelings as I remembered each of these situations and so many others during my training.

Since becoming a chaplain, there have been hundreds and hundreds of people with whom I have come into contact. Each one has left a fingerprint on my heart. While sitting there in the chapel, I realized just how much I had learned from those whom I had served. These people taught me so much about living and dying, and love and who God was for them. I began to wonder what, if anything, I owed to these people who allowed me into their lives at a time that is so painful for most and who now reside in my heart, having forever changed me.

What do I owe them? Perhaps it is keeping their stories alive by writing this article. Perhaps it is by writing about what it is that I do that helped them through a difficult time in their life so that another chaplain intern or resident or colleague or local clergyperson will learn from my mistakes and my challenges and my “aha” moments.

What do you owe to those whom you have served – who are now fingerprints on your heart? What do you do with the knowledge that you have gleaned from your years as a chaplain? What do you owe the next generation of chaplains?

Articles are being written about what we do. They are being written by doctors, nurses, social workers and others. For example, I recently came across an article entitled: “Spiritual Transformation, Relation and Radical Empathy: Core Components of the Ritual Healing Process.” I looked at the byline assuming that I would find it written by someone who was a chaplain and/or had an M.Div. or a D.Min. Sadly, it was written by a professor of Anthropology. Not surprising though, since most articles written these days about spirituality and healing and death and dying are written by other than chaplains…..

So, I want to challenge you to begin to write about what it is that you do and how you do it. If we don’t claim what we do, we will not grow as a profession and we will have no one to blame but ourselves. It is time for us to build the body of knowledge that will ensure our acceptance as a “profession.” It is time for us to claim what it is we do and to pass what we have learned onto those who will follow in our footsteps.

Did you learn anything from a patient or family member whom you served? How about from staff or a doctor? Honor that learning by writing about it. Whether it be for PlainViews, Chaplaincy Today, Vision, ACPE News or any other Journal, we need to grow our body of work so that we can not only claim our rightful place alongside our medical, nursing and social work colleagues, but continue to grow and serve our teachers - the patients, families, and hospital personnel.

Do you have thoughts about advocacy you’d like to share with your colleagues? Send an e-mail to info@PlainViews.org.