Rev. Jonathan Scott on weathering the unexpected

The Changes that Weather can Bring

“Boy, it’s surprising weather! I never would have expected this.”

So began the conversation with the patient by the window. The weather is a common bond for all of us, a safe entry into a shared experience that establishes some general connection. As an important part of our New England setting, the weather impacts our decisions to go out or stay in, to spend time peering out windows at snow or time out walking in gardens. The weather when you read this will doubtless be different than the weather that warms the still green lawns in the start of January.

The conversation started with the weather, but it went towards the surprise and the unexpected. For all of us are also connected with the experience of not knowing what tomorrow holds, of having plans changed at the last minute. We are bound together by the unexpected. On this particular day, the patient wanted to talk about the surprise of a terminal illness, of finding herself in the hospital rather than her home, of facing a totally different future than the one anticipated before her diagnosis. This sickness had snuck up on her, catching her unprepared, abruptly taking her out of one season in her life and placing her in another.

We cannot control the weather. We end up taking whatever comes and making the best of it. Sometimes it is easy to adapt ourselves to changing circumstances. Sometimes we simply grab a jacket out of the closet on a cold day and go out and continue on our merry way. But other times we are completely derailed by fierce storm or bitter cold, and long-established plans are temporarily or permanently shelved. We cannot control the diagnosis. We end up accepting the results of tests, and accept the need to adjust to changing circumstances. Many times we simply follow the healthcare advice, take our medicine and return to good health. But other times the illness is more serious and the options are limited to making the best of a bad situation. We cannot control the course of the terminal illness, but we can control our response to it.

This patient wanted to talk about how her life was unexpectedly changed. She wanted to express the anger and frustration of loss. She wanted to talk about ways to somehow make each day count. It ended up being a very personal conversation, full of questions and confusion and faith and intentions. In the journey together, we remembered supports from her religious tradition and from past days of grace. The visit ended up with her hope that, whatever she faced, the God in whom she believed would love and sustain her. We had started out our visit with the unexpected weather. We ended our visit exploring how she would weather the unexpected.

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