Rt. Rev. Dr. Barry Rathbone on a catalyst to self-examination

Letting Go of Distress and Sadness

In the last ten years, both here in the United Kingdom and elsewhere, we have been inundated almost on a daily basis, through the media, with images and headlines on the topic of the death of the late Diana, Princess of Wales.

August 30 marked the tenth anniversary of her untimely demise, and once more we have had all the emotions and group hysteria that surrounds it raked up and spread amongst us.

At the time of her death I was working in London as a community chaplain, working predominantly with itinerant people and street workers who lived within the confines of Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park, London, the public parks that surrounded her London home at Kensington Palace, and the focus of the nation's "mourning."

It struck me, as first one or two, then eventually over 250,000 people made a 'pilgrimage' to the gates of the palace to lay flowers, pictures, toys, etc., at what became an unofficial 'shrine' to the lady, that there is a clear attachment in the psychology of grief between our own personal losses, mums, dads, wives, children, husbands, etc., and that of the loss of a well-known public figure such as Diana.

As I sat and met with many of the 'pilgrims' on their journey from the train and bus stations through the park with their ever-growing bouquets and other assorted presents, I could not help but feel that, although initially I felt a deep sense of annoyance at the media for whipping up this mass hysteria over the death of one (as opposed to, let’s say, the annihilation of Eastern European Jews and Slavs by the Nazis which, although distressing to us all, rarely in the UK raised even more than an eyebrow or a quiet 'tut' and shake of the head), the death of Diana galvanised a nation, indeed a race, that is largely known for reserve and 'keeping in' emotions, most especially personal ones, to let go of all that immense distress and sadness that they may been storing for some time, and that can only be a good thing.

I found myself at some points, ministering to these people who were weeping and wailing and rending their clothes (I kid you not). I actually found myself reexamining my own emotive response and drawing myself to times of great sadness and bereavement I had personally experienced.

Whilst I still believe it is not necessarily a genuine feeling of despair and bereavement for many who, even this week, ten years on, were reliving their actions of the original event, rather a desire for a small moment of notoriety in the camera's glare, I am utterly convinced of the vitality of the need for us all to assist many to deal with hidden emotions. As a mental health professional for over 20 years, as well as a chaplain, I know only too well the disastrous consequence of not encouraging people to deal with deep emotional negativity. I would urge all my colleagues to encourage such self examination, although it might be better not to run over popular public figures just to get people to open up concerning their restrained emotions!

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