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Sarah Masters reviews the film

The Smith Family

A Mormon family’s struggle to remain together in the face of father Steve’s revelation that he is homosexual is only the first trial faced by the Smith family in this morally challenging film.

After a few years, Steve’s wife Kim discovers she is HIV-positive and Steve discovers that he has AIDS. As Steve’s illness progresses, their two sons struggle to keep faith with the Mormon Church and to believe again in their father.

Director Tasha Oldham follows the Smith family through it all and, by the end, the film has really become wife Kim’s story, a redemptive story of forgiveness and reconciliation. Kim describes forgiveness “not as an action but as a process” as she holds the family together in spite of both her family’s disapproval and the disapproval of the Mormon Church, which invites Steve to attend services “without participation.”

Oldham leaves open the question of whether or not Mormon belief in family togetherness after death increases Steve’s burden of guilt. The poignant struggles of this devout family also may leave the viewer pondering the depth of faith and resolve reflected in Kim’s decision to remain within her spiritual tradition and to encourage her sons to do the same.

Finally, though, The Smith Family is more about how family members meet the challenges in their lives than about moral positions on homosexuality, AIDS and faith. For Chaplains, there is much to contemplate in the gray areas that are so much a part of each crisis confronted by the Smiths, as exemplified by Steve’s final words to Kim: “I hope you know how perfectly I loved you.”

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Completed: 2002
Running Time: 84 Minutes
Producer/Director: Tasha Oldham

To purchase or rent this film for home or educational purposes, please contact:

SmallTown Productions, 8569 Pickford Street, Los Angeles, CA 90035, (310) 254 5754 or go to:
http://www.thesmithfamilyfilm.com; smtownprod@aol.com

Book Review

Rev. Dr. Martha R. Jacobs reviews

It’s Not About the Hair
and Other Certainties of Life & Cancer

It’s Not About the Hair is a moving and poignant account of a woman’s experience with breast cancer. It is honest, and believe it or not, funny. Debra Jarvis has written a book that every woman who is diagnosed with breast cancer should read. It should also be read by spouses, chaplains and all other cancer caregivers. Debra writes from within herself. Her struggles, fears, frustrations, and pain come through loud and clear.

What makes this book different from others written by those who have breast cancer is that Debra is a chaplain at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, where she assists patients and their families as they progress through treatment. She writes not only about how her patients dealt with her cancer diagnosis, but also about how the staff of the Center handled her diagnosis and about her subsequent treatment at the Center. She is very honest about her own frustrations with her cancer as well as her struggles with God and her diagnosis.

It is, therefore, not surprising that Debra’s relationship with God is front and center throughout this book. Her conversations with God, who she calls Mr. Miyagi (you have to read the book to understand her naming God, Mr. Miyagi), are compelling and ring true. She doesn’t pull any punches when talking about her side effects, her insecurities, her fears and her self-image. While I am sure that her husband is wonderful and amazing, it would be interesting to hear his side of this story, since he comes through this sounding like an angel in disguise. For Debra, he clearly was and is her angel. It would be helpful and interesting to hear what was going on inside of him while he was helping Debra get through this.

Among the other angels in this book, which includes an adorable dog, are Debra's family, close friends and the director of pastoral care at Debra's hospital. Rev. Dr. Stephen King's e-mail to her shows his support of her and of her ministry and of her personhood. He made whatever accommodation she needed and ensured that she took care of herself. Clearly he has set an excellent example for his staff in self care as well as patient, family and staff care.

One of the highlights of reading this book as a fellow chaplain is being able to be an invisible presence while Debra provides pastoral care to her patients and their families. That in itself makes this book worth reading. It is clear from these pastoral conversations that Debra has pastoral assessment plans for her patients and their family members which enable her to be prepared for her visits with them and help them with whatever is happening for them. Her professionalism comes through in these often deeply spiritual conversations, some of which may not seem spiritual, but cleary are. Debra is present for them at the most difficult times as well as at the most touching and joyous times. She handles that sometimes very fine line between being a professional and also being human with aplomb.

I highly recommend this book and commend Debra for her bravery, honesty, humor and forthrightness in writing it.

Jarvis, Debra. It’s Not About the Hair and Other Certainties of Life & Cancer. Sasquatch Books, Seattle, 2007, 245.

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