Rabbi Dr. David J. Zucker on measuring when it is enough

Seeking Self-Satisfaction

As chaplains and pastoral caregivers we regularly find ourselves with patients, residents, clients, and loved ones who share their personal life stories with us. Because of illness, depression, or setbacks they are in a hospital, a nursing home, a hospice, or counseling.

As they share their personal life story, they either say directly, or infer, that they are emotionally distressed. Often, they offer a comparison with someone else, saying that, unlike Mr. Jones or Ms. Smith who did achieve (fill in the blank - perhaps fame, fortune, and power), they did not do so. They regret this, because they believe they could have done something similar.

As chaplains or pastoral caregivers, often, we are also self-critical. We chastise or berate ourselves that we do not own a bigger car, or a nicer home, or visit this place or that. Alternatively (or additionally) we regret that we were not ambitious enough – or successful enough at the political game – to achieve a certain status or some arbitrary measure of “success” in the organization in which we work, or the field in which we serve. Others of us feel that somehow we have failed because we were not able to be present all the time for those who are in need of pastoral care.

Sometimes, enough is enough!

Conscious of living in a world with limited resources, both natural and human, and living in a world with limited time, perhaps we should wonder: when is enough, enough? How do we seek (and how do we measure) self-satisfaction? How should we live with Ecclesiastes’ cynical – but astute – observation, “The eye is never satisfied with seeing, the ear filled with hearing?” (Eccl. 1:8)

One answer offered, albeit in a different context, is in Deuteronomy. In chapter 14 there is a statement about the priesthood, the Levites, as well as resident aliens, widows, and orphans. At certain regular periods food is to be provided for these groups so that they “shall come and eat their fill . . . [literally when “they eat and are satisfied”] that . . . God may bless you” in all your endeavors. (Deut 14:29)

When they eat and are satisfied . . . or more metaphorically, when they consume and are satisfied. . . . When are they and more importantly, when are we, truly satisfied? When is enough, enough?

In the Western world, we live in a very consumer, and consumption-driven, society. We have products that have a built-in shelf life, which suggests that we discard the product before it spoils. Often we will purchase a newer model (car, computer, cell phone) even before the “old” one stops working efficiently.

If we frame this in terms of possessions or power, when is enough, enough? How big of a home do we need? How many gadgets, DVDs, or clothes will satisfy us? How high do we need to climb on the organizational ladder?

While personal satisfaction ultimately is an individual answer, the Bible suggests there are some fixed standards that offer guidance. Deuteronomy 16 lists the Festival cycle: Passover, Weeks, Booths (Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot). Passover is always at a set time – it is in the spring. Weeks always begins seven weeks after Passover, and so on. These are commonly held, communally-based practices. Passover is a set number of days; Weeks does not arbitrarily come five weeks or ten weeks after Passover, whenever we feel like observing it.

Communal standards as a form of socializing can offer guidance as to how we define our personal satisfaction. The ancient sage Ben Zoma asked rhetorically, “Who is rich?” He answered, “Persons content with their lot.” (Mishna Avot 4.1) We might always wish for or want more than we have. Yet we can moderate this thought and be content with our current possessions or status. We can be satisfied relative to the community in which we live and work. Enough can be enough.

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