Rev. James D. Ek on helping patients understand

Waiting

Chaplain Larry Hirst wrote, "A person seeks medical attention … because he or she is afraid." (PlainViews, Vol. 4, No. 3) My experience is different. People with broken bodies are not necessarily afraid; they are in pain. Fear, indeed, may enter into someone's decision to seek medical attention. But even when it does, it’s an emotion, not "a soul response to stimuli."

My biggest initial block to discovering someone's spiritual needs is their distinctly compromised physical condition. Pain, grief from lost abilities, reduced ability (or opportunity) to make decisions, in addition to a lack of information (or an inability or unwillingness to process the information) are often the presenting symptoms of someone's barrier to peace of mind and soul.

Spirituality is out of range for most patients. I think Maslow had trouble, too. His list of needs goes from the most primitive to the highest levels, the top being self-actualization. Self-transcendence, or spirituality, while mentioned, is missing from the triangle. Even when included, it comes after all else is taken care of.

Lack of information is a problem for the patient. Early in my chaplaincy, nurses would say the patient and family had been fully informed. Patient and family would declare ignorance. Who's right? I found both often were correct! In a crisis our minds allow in only that which is 1) able to be processed without significant psychological damage; and 2) essential to immediate survival. The competent medical staff can pronounce all the facts in a case and ask for questions; the patient and family hear only that "the tests are inconclusive, so we need to take more tests to find out what it is." That may be complete information but not complete communication.

Those who seek drastic medical intervention seem to be the kind of people who tend to resist trusting their fate to a higher power. This tendency is social, not “soulcial” (if I may coin a new word). For the majority, the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations is a big deal when mortality looms.

A couple of years ago I spent three days as a hospital patient. I had signs of a stroke. Initially, there was a brief feeling of fear when I sat in the emergency room and realized I could die! Then I asked myself if I believed all the stuff I proclaimed. A peace settled over me at that moment. During the stay my family visited; my boss visited; my superintendent visited; even my bishop visited! Much to their dismay, I talked freely about death. I told them that my life was full of fulfilled hopes and dreams thanks to many of them. And I shared that some had blessed me with things I hadn't even dreamed of. I got a new perspective on life. Hospital rooms can do that, if you let them.

When I hear a complaint, I know stress is present. Finding out if it is spiritual in nature takes some empathetic listening and love. This is doubly true when the patient is "waiting.”

Do you have thoughts about education & research you’d like to share with your colleagues? Send an e-mail to info@PlainViews.org.