Rev. Patricia Wright on the importance of brief encounters

“Haven’t You People Done Enough?”

My first meeting with M was not what I would call stellar. He practically threw me out of his room. After I had identified myself as a chaplain and asked if there was anything I could do for him, his response was, “Haven’t you people done enough?” Quickly realizing that now was not the time to visit with M, I excused myself but let him know of my availability should he change his mind about our services.

M was a young man, a war veteran, who had been diagnosed with leukemia. I knew he needed support. I also knew it would take time and effort to be able to provide that support. M was a patient in our hospital for several months. He and his girlfriend became familiar faces in the hall. Everyone knew about him, and knew about his moods. He tended to dismiss people from his presence quite often and with no regard to civility or politeness. He was blunt and no one ever wondered what he was thinking.

Over the course of several months I would briefly say hi to M on occasion. Once he was playing guitar in his room and I commented on the music. Once I saw him laying down a racetrack for electric cars and asked about it briefly. Once he was eating lunch in the hall as I was making rounds and we struck up a conversation. All very brief encounters, none were overtly religious, but there were comments on his priorities and his personality nonetheless. I usually had to remind him of who I was, and he always seemed to be surprised that I was the chaplain.

As M’s condition worsened, he and his family were expecting a miracle to save him. They had faith, but they never spoke to me about it. I heard all this from the nurses.

Finally, as the end drew near, M and his girlfriend decided they wanted to get married. M couldn’t leave the hospital. He was too sick. His girlfriend, who just happened to be a wedding planner, took matters into her own hands and started planning what needed to happen.

To my amazement, they asked me to perform the ceremony. I was honored.

It was the most sacred moment I have ever been a part of, leading this couple in their vows. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Of course along with all their friends and family were so many staff members from all over the hospital. It was amazing. Everyone knew how poignant a moment this was. I have never seen a happier groom, or more radiant bride.

Sadly, within two weeks M died. His new wife came to me and asked that I perform his funeral service. Again, I was honored. Before meeting this couple I had never performed a wedding or a funeral. I thought it was appropriate that the first time I presided at a funeral, it was for the same young man who had been the groom at the first wedding I conducted. We had come a very long way from “Haven’t you people done enough?”

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