Chaplain Dick D. Millspaugh

Who Have Been Your Mentors and What Have They Taught You?

Chaplain Julie Berger’s recent article reflecting on the broad themes of her learning as a chaplain in twenty-five years of ministry, with appreciation to Art Lucas for his mentoring, led me to think it would be interesting to hear from other chaplains. What are the broad themes of your learning across the years of your ministry? Who have been your mentors and what did they teach you? Would you be willing to share your thoughts in PlainViews?

Here are some of my reflections:

Mentor: The women, whose name I have forgotten, who I, in my anxiety as a CPE student, assured prior to surgery that she would be fine because “we have great doctors and nurses.” On my return visit, I barely recognized her as her arm was bound to her chin to effect a live tissue graft. She, however, knew me and in her suffering kicked me out of the ward at the top of her voice. Lesson: Don’t offer false reassurance. Don’t promise what isn’t yours to give. This also applies to telling patients that you will be back to see them, unless you are absolutely sure that you will.

Mentor: Art Lucas. I have seen Art on several occasions observe a dispute between two other chaplains. After listening for awhile, Art would not take sides, rather he would offer another way to consider the issue that was inclusive of both perspectives and yet larger than both. Lesson: My job as a chaplain is to avoid siding with particular family members, or with staff or patient in differences of opinions. My job is to look for a larger perspective that respects all persons and gives them an opportunity to find some resolution, save face, and affirm each other. Art also taught me that my job with administrators is often to use my chaplain skills: listen, assess, suggest interventions.

Mentors: My therapists across the years. My therapists have modeled anxiety containment resulting in a non-reactive presence. Lesson: This is different than a non-anxious presence, which is ideal. But next best is to contain my anxiety in a way that allows me to be non-reactive. That allows the chaplain to be responsive to the immediate source of anxiety in the system, without adding to it.

Mentor: Patients. Lesson: I have learned that suffering is a part of living and loving, that most of us can cope with suffering if we have at least one person to listen to us deeply, one person who loves us and one person who truly wants to understand what it feels like to be who we are. In such a person we experience the presence of God.

Mentor: A preacher. Most of us are familiar with the scripture that we are to love our neighbor, but that is often where we stop. ”Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Lesson: It is important to ask, “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself in this moment.” Such compassionate caring for oneself is ministry and will result in ministry.

I invite you to share your own learnings. They do not need to be profound, just a few things that have made you a better chaplain and human being. I’d like to learn from you.

Send your responses to info@plainviews.org.

Do you have thoughts about advocacy you’d like to share with your colleagues? Send an e-mail to info@PlainViews.org.