 5/19/2004
Vol. 1, No. 8
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Professional
Practice |
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Chaplain
Dick Millspaugh suggests
possible pastoral
responses to an anxious
family member whose
loved one is facing
death.
“Is
my loved one
going to hell?”:
A Pastoral Response
Chaplain Dick Millspaugh,
M.Div., BCC
At the recent Association of Professional Chaplains meeting someone asked
one of the speakers, "How do you deal with a family member who is
distressed because she believes her comatose loved one is going to hell?”
After the speaker's presentation, three of us gathered to discuss this
question. Two approaches were suggested.
One:
Rather than try to
falsely assure the
person, join him
or her in the pain.
Often the distress
experienced by the
family member seeking
the help of the chaplain
is palpable. As care
givers our need is
often to "make
it OK." Another
option, rather than
trying to "fix" the
distress, is to join
the person in his
or her helplessness. "It
must be so difficult
to feel that G-d
will send your loved
one to hell and to
feel so helpless
to do anything about
it."
Chaplains
know that the Spirit
enlightens when we
can listen well without
trying to provide
solutions. "Tell
me what this is like
for you." "How
does this leave you
feeling about your
loved one?" "How
does this leave you
feeling about G-d?" The
hope is that, at
a minimum, if the
chaplain listens
well, that the family
member will feel
less alone in his
or her distress,
and perhaps, more
so, will be able
to work toward a
resolution that the
chaplain would have
never thought of.
Two:
A very different
approach is to invite
the family member
to re-frame his or
her view on the nature
of G-d. While this
may be done in a
variety of ways,
I will provide two
examples.
First,
some Christian chaplains
may speak of the
criminal on the cross
who in the last moment
asked Jesus to remember
him when Jesus came
into his kingly power
(Luke 23:42) Jesus
assures him that
he will be in Paradise
that day. I have
heard some chaplains
say that this is
evidence that a last
moment confession
is recognized by
G-d. Further, these
chaplains will remind
the family member
that we really never
know what has transpired
between another person
and G-d. Even further,
some chaplains may
suggest that as surely
as the shepherd searches
for the lost sheep,
we should not give
up on G-d's forgiveness
or mercy.
A second
way to approach re-framing
the family member's
view of G-d goes
something like this
partial verbatim:
Chaplain:
From what you have
told me and from
the distress I can
see you are in, it
sounds like you love
your family member
very much?
Family:
Of course, I love
him. We have been
married for 30 years.
It hasn't always
been easy, but I
still love him.
Chaplain:
Well, I was just
wondering...do you
think G-d loves him
as much as you do?
Family:
Yes, I think G-d
loves him as much
as I do, in fact,
I think G-d loves
him more than I do.
Chaplain:
Yes, well, as much
as I can see that
you love your family
member, I would have
to agree with you
that G-d loves him
even more. Tell me,
if it was up to you,
as much as you love
your family member,
knowing everything
you know about him,
if it was up to you,
would you let him
into heaven?
Family:
Well, of course I
would, I mean if
it was up to me.
Chaplain:
And you think that
G-d loves him even
more than you do?
Family:
Yes.
Chaplain:
Well if you would
let him into heaven,
and you believe that
G-d loves him even
more than you do,
do you think it might
be possible that
G-d might find a
way to welcome him
to heaven also?
It
is important to keep
in mind, however,
that some people
are trapped in a
very rigid formulaic
view of salvation.
For such persons
a re-framing of their
concept of G-d may
be more threatening
than imagining their
loved one in hell.
This may simply be
an indication of
how vulnerable their
own underlying personality
cohesion is. As chaplains
we need to respect
rather than try to
change such rigidity.
Perhaps, at best
in such circumstance,
we can only reflect
and honor the suffering
inherent in such
a position.
As
chaplains face the
issue of how to deal
with those who despair
over a family member
going to hell, I
would encourage you
to write about how
you have handled
this situation so
we all might learn
from your voice of
experience.
Chaplain
Dick D. Millspaugh,
M.Div., BCC, is currently
serving at the San
Diego Veterans Administration
Hospital in La Jolla,
California. He is
an ordained United
Methodist Elder in
the California-Pacific
Annual Conference
and the past president
of the Association
of Professional Chaplains.
His wife, Carol,
is also a United
Methodist pastor
and they have two
children, Heather
and John. Chaplain
Millspaugh can be
contacted at dick.millspaugh@med.va.gov or
858-552-8585 extension
7678.
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Advocacy |
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Chaplain David Plummer writes about
his struggles as an evangelical chaplain.
The
Struggles of an Evangelical
Chaplain
Recently I was asked about writing an article on “Being an Evangelical in the
World of Interfaith Chaplaincy.” My response was:
I think it is not too difficult
being an evangelical in the world
of interfaith chaplaincy. It is
far more challenging being an evangelical
who embraces interfaith chaplaincy
to live in genuine community among
my non-chaplaincy evangelical colleagues.
Their responses to me, and their
agendas, can be quite difficult.
Indeed, even some of my evangelical
chaplain colleagues practice a pseudo-ecumenicism,
rather than a true commitment to
multifaith ministry.
I would like to take this opportunity
to explain my response.
I have found that occasionally
— no, make that often — when I
explain to my non-evangelical colleagues
that I am a “clinically-trained,
Charismatic chaplain,” they have
a hard time understanding or, perhaps,
believing that I am using these
terms accurately. Sadly, I fully
understand their apprehension and
outright disbelief. Usually, after
a brief discussion of my sincerely
held beliefs and commitment to
genuine pluralism, they accept
me for the colleague in chaplaincy
who I am.
This, however, is often not the
case with my evangelical colleagues.
I regularly hear such questions
as, “If you are ministering to
an 'unbeliever' [often defined
by them as anyone who is not evangelical
in belief] here in the hospital,
what could you possibly have to
talk about?” “If you are not telling
them about Jesus, what good are
you doing?” “Are you just pacifying
them on their deathbeds as they
slip into an eternity in hell?”
Such questions betray to me a lack
of understanding and appreciation
on their parts of the unconditionally
loving and practical ministry of
Jesus when he walked the earth.
They fail to appreciate Jesus'
ministry and love to all — regardless
of who they were spiritually, theologically,
or what they had or had not done.
They are unaware of that wonderful,
theologically-rich exhortation
of St. Francis: “Preach the Gospel!
If necessary, use words.” Most
are even unaware of St. Francis
(after all, he was Catholic anyway!).
What disturbs me most, unfortunately,
is when my evangelical chaplain
friends give lip-service to pluralism.
Often they are only pseudo-ecumenicists.
It bothers me because they know
better. They have been taught (and
at some point asked for) a signed
agreement that they are paid to
serve an institution as a religious
caregiver to all — not just to
their own kind. Yet, in spite of
this they consider themselves some
sort of spiritual “double agents,”
far more interested in proselytizing
and evangelization than they are
in responding to the agendas and
practical needs of the client and
the client's family.
My questions for such evangelical chaplains are, If it’s ok to lie, fabricate,
manipulate, and deceive to “lead someone to the Lord,” just who is the Lord
that they are serving? Isn't this the practice of the “psychologically destructive
cults?” Do the ends (a planned, manipulated “acceptance” of Jesus) justify
the means? [Process tells me that the means is a part of the end.] Some chaplains
I know would privately, and enthusiastically say, “Yes!” to that last question.
“We are evangelists to the institutional mission fields we serve,” are sentiments
I have heard from some of my fellow evangelical chaplains and endorsing executives
who are active participants in the pseudo-pluralism ruse. I truly wish that
they had the integrity to not sign ethics commitments and other statements
that say they are dedicated to pluralism and will not attempt to proselytize.
It is these evangelical chaplains with pseudo-pluralistic values who
give bad reputations to all evangelical chaplains — including those with a
strong commitment to personal integrity and professional ethics. No wonder
I am occasionally looked upon with skepticism by non-evangelical chaplains
and chaplain employers.
My hope for my interfaith colleagues
is they will see me for who I am
and who I am not. My hope for my
pseudo-ecumenicist evangelical
colleagues is that they will realize
that dishonesty and a lack of integrity
is contrary to the principles of
the very G-d whom they wish to
please and to whom they seek to
bring converts. And, my hope for
my evangelical colleagues with
integrity intact is that they will
continue to be authentic, and train
others to be the same.
Chaplain David Plummer is manager
of chaplaincy services at Sentara
CarePlex Hospital (Hampton, VA),
and the endorsing executive for The
Coalition of Spirit-filled Churches
religious endorsing body. He serves
as secretary of the COMISS Network,
and has just accepted the position
of chair of the COMISS Commission
on Accreditation of Pastoral Services
(CCAPS).
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Education & Research |
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The Rev. Connie Madden
challenges chaplains
to be ready to care for
American soldiers
returning from Iraq.
Will
We Be Ready?
The nurse sighed in
frustration. “This
patient is really giving
me trouble. He doesn’t
trust anything the
doctors are doing.
He refuses to stay
still and pulls out
the lines. He’s afraid
of sleeping pills.
Frankly, I’m worn out
from his hostility.”
We were already experiencing
at our hospital in
Newport News, Virginia,
the beginning effects
of "Operation
Enduring Freedom" on
the local veteran population.
When the Hampton Roads
Chaplains’ Association
met this past month,
the Veteran’s Hospital
chaplain reminded us
to be prepared for
the thousands of returning
military who would
experience posttraumatic
stress disorder (PTSD)
in the months and years
to come.
Most of us were trained
in the terminology
of this anxiety disorder
and had seen its power
on patients. We knew
that any tragic event
such as abuse, rape,
murder, homelessness,
9/11 experiences, etc.,
could trigger this
reaction. The anxiety
in recurring ideation
in thoughts and dreams
of the events, the
psychological distress
to external/internal
cues, the numbness,
depression, detachment,
hostility, hyper vigilance,
and addiction which
often resulted from
PTSD were all reactions
that we had seen.
Yet, the military
comprise a unique group.
The stress on these
soldiers and their
families through their
deployment absences,
which are being extended
with increasing violence
in the region, will
only compound the anxiety
reactions when they
return. The constant
reassignments of soldiers
and their families
and the changing political
view of the fighting
will also provoke stressors.
We will see a rapidly
escalating need for
education about PTSD,
understanding of resources
in the community, allowing
for “trauma narrative”
by the victims and
their families, marriage/family
communication strategies,
PTSD support groups
for returning military,
and an awareness that
many physical conditions
are caused by underlying
PTSD symptoms.
We must be ready as
caregivers to help.
We need to research
through the local veterans’
hospitals, or on websites
such as the National
Center for PTSD to
find more detailed
information. We must
find treatment centers
specific for veterans
and be prepared to
support their relatives
in the readjustment
times. These military
personnel are putting
their lives on the
line for us. We can
be prepared to provide
the best care for them
when they return.
The Rev. Connie
Madden, MDiv, BCC, has
served in North Carolina
and Virginia as both
a hospital and hospice
chaplain. Currently,
she is an associate pastor
at North Riverside Baptist
Church in Newport News,
Virginia, where she is
educating congregants
in end of life issues
and appropriate bereavement
care. |
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Spiritual
Development |
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.gif) Fertile Darkness: The Rev. Susan
Gregg-Schroeder’s battle
with depression led to
a new calling.
Fertile
Darkness
Psalm 57 begins, “In the shadow of your wings, I will take refuge, until
the destroying storms pass by.” .
My first assignment
out of seminary was
as the first female
clergy to a large urban
church. Little did
I know that I was also
about to embark on
a journey through the
destroying storms of
major depression. I
worked hard at my ministry,
after getting over
the initial shock,
and gradually gained
confidence in myself
and acceptance from
the congregation. All
that was to change
in 1991 when I became
enveloped by a deep
sadness. Despite my
experience with pastoral
counseling, I did not
recognize or understand
what was happening
to me. It was a friend
who suggested I get
a spiritual director
to help me sort out
the personal and spiritual
changes I was experiencing.
I worked with my spiritual
director for about
eight months. I began
to name some experiences
from my past. My mother’s
love for me had been
conditional, based
on my behavior and
performance. I became
adept at working to
please others and meet
the expectations of
others, which served
me well as a pastor.
But in the fall of
1991, a series of events
hit me like waves,
until I felt totally
overwhelmed with despair,
as I finally admitted
to myself that I had
been an abused child.
My mother had died
of breast cancer when
I was fifteen. Later
my birth father died,
and at his funeral
I learned my half sister
also had breast cancer.
A week later I awoke
to the newspaper headline
telling of a devastating
firestorm in the Oakland/Berkeley
hills that destroyed
my birth home.
I had all the symptoms
of major depression.
My spiritual director
sent me to a psychiatrist,
who also happened to
be a member of my church.
It was one of the most
humbling experiences
of my life. The result
was my first hospitalization.
Ironically, it was
the same hospital where
I had conducted worship
services when I was
doing my Clinical Pastoral
Education units. The
small chapel was now
a barbershop.
No one at church except
my senior pastor knew
of my hospitalization.
For two years, I suffered
in silence. After another
hospitalization and
with the support of
my senior pastor, I
wrote an article for
our church newsletter
entitled, “The Burden
of Silence.” Many came
forward with their
stories, and in response,
I wrote the book, In
the Shadow of God’s
Wings: Grace in the
Midst of Depression,
published by The Upper
Room.
Spirituality is a
universal truth yet
a highly individual
journey. I have since
left the local church
and have been appointed
by my bishop as the
first Coordinator of
Mental Health Ministries.
In this capacity, I
conduct workshops,
conferences and seminars
and have developed
video resources on
mental health issues
for use in faith communities.
My journey of self-discovery
led me back to the
community and caring
for others.
The journey toward
wholeness is living
in the tension of the
surprising, unpredictable,
impulsive Spirit, which
grounds us and brings
meaning to our existence.
We become part of the
mystery of incarnation
as our soul touches
the souls of others
in love and compassion.
We abide in a sacred
dance as our soul brushes
briefly with eternity.
The Rev. Susan Gregg-Schroeder
serves as the coordinator
of Mental Health Ministries,
an inter-faith outreach
to provide resources
to faith communities
to help erase the stigma
of mental illness. In
this capacity, Mental
Health Ministries has
produced ten high-quality
videos on mental health
issues. Susan has also
authored a book, “In
the Shadow of God’s Wings:
Grace in the Midst of
Depression,” and was
named the 2003 NAMI (National
Alliance for the Mentally
Ill) California Clergyperson
of the year. Visit her
website at www.MentalHealthMinistries.net for
more information.
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Reviews |
From
time to time, PlainViews will
include reviews of films,
books and journal articles
that are appropriate
for our readership. Should
you have a review that
you would like considered
for inclusion, please
submit it to info@plainviews.org.
How does one minister
to such a diverse population?
In Faith and Doubt
at Ground Zero, producer
Helen Whitney interviewed
priests, rabbis and
Islamic scholars, victims'
families and World
Trade Center survivors,
writers and thinkers,
atheists and agnostics,
about the questions
that haven’t gone away.
Faith
and Doubt at Ground
Zero
The “spiritual aftershocks”
of September 11th were
profound for all, and
as varied as the population
who bore witness:
“G-d had nothing to
do with this.”
“I found myself closer to G-d, because my son is with him.”
“I’m losing my respect for G-d.”
“There’s a Trinity. I believe in the Son still, but not the Father.”
“My daughter and her husband both went to Allah…No matter what we do, we need
to accept his will. That’s Allah’s wish.”
How does one minister to such a diverse population? In Faith and Doubt
at Ground Zero, producer Helen Whitney interviewed priests, rabbis and
Islamic scholars, victims' families and World Trade Center survivors, writers
and thinkers, atheists and agnostics, about the questions that haven’t gone
away.
September 11th appeared
to challenge the faith
of some religious leaders
as strongly as it challenged
the faith of survivors
and victims’ families.
And it renewed debate
about the nature of evil.
Catholic priest Lorenzo
Albacente: “I knew it
before I knew about who
did it or why…I recognized
religion…I recognized
the same passion that
motivates religious people
to do great things is
the same one that brought
all that destruction…I
recognized this trust,
this demand for the absolute.”
The film highlighted
some of the dilemmas
faced by religious leaders.
Orthodox Rabbi Brad Hirshfield:
“Since 9/11, people keep
asking me ‘Where was
G-d?’ And they think
because I’m a rabbi,
I have the answers. And
I actually think that
my job as a rabbi is
to help them live with
those questions.”
While Faith and
Doubt at Ground Zero does
not try to answer questions
about faith or soothe
doubts about the existence
of a G-d, it does illuminate
the issues that individuals
of all backgrounds
and beliefs are grappling
with post-9/11. That
is the film’s gift
to those committed
to pastoral care and
education.
If you are interested
in purchasing the film,
you can do so at www.hartleyfoundation.org.
Just click on “Masterworks”
on the homepage for more
information. The VHS
version of the film is
priced at $24.98 and
the DVD version at $29.98.
Macky Alston is the
director of Auburn Media,
a division of the Center
for Multifaith Education
at Auburn Theological Seminary
committed to supporting,
cultivating and promoting
powerful, engaging, balanced
and responsible media on
religion, spirituality
and ethics. He is a graduate
of Union Theological Seminary
and an award-winning documentary
filmmaker.
Completed: 2002
Running Time: 120 Minutes
Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero aired nationally on PBS.
Producer: Helen Whitney Written by: Helen Whitney and Ron Rosenbaum Editor:
Ted Winterburn Narrator: Kathryn Walker Principal Photography: Tom Hurwitz,
Eddie Marritz
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