Rev. Phil Baucom
Teach Us to Number Our Days
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain wisdom. (Ps 90:12)
It comes to that final time. The time that only knows pain and lack of lucidity and all that is left is palliation of pain. The time for talking and final goodbyes, even the time of final reconciliation, is unfortunately past during these final times.
How many of our older folk can no longer express their thoughts, robbed as they are of any recognition of the ones they love most? They may be robbed of the ability to speak or be immobilized by pain.
I believe that many of these older folks have tried to have those conversations, before the inability to have them has set in, only to have their own children dissuade them from the attempt. This is the unfortunate reality, just as many of these same folks want to plan their funerals, their children don't want to admit there will ever be a funeral. Some may even restrain themselves from having the conversation since they do not want to cause their relatives any pain (sorrow, grief) by admitting their mortality.
Surely, most older folks recognize their mortality and their proximity to it if they have retained lucidity.
Teach us to number our days – the conversation should be on-going, along with advance directives. The result will be that wisdom will be passed on and nothing will be left unsaid that most would want to convey, particularly to those they love.
And, as much as an advance directive is important, maybe one day a final letter could be added for inclusion in that box of important papers, in the case of sudden death, or in the case of inability to communicate. This final letter could be a wonderful piece of written legacy.
Teach us to number our days….
Rev. Phil Baucom has been fortunate in later life to come to chaplaincy. He has spent nearly four years with hospice and almost eleven years in a one-person department at Wilson Medical Center in Wilson, NC. He loves reading, writing poetry, gardening, antiquing, walking, biking, and hiking.
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