Martha Byron, BCC

Gwen’s Story: Life Within a Caring Community

Gwen* has been a resident of Notre Dame Long Term Care Center’s (NDLTCC) Alzheimer’s Unit for the past two years. Gwen has chosen a special chair in the living area as her own. From there she is able to observe all the activities and happenings on this busy resident unit. We know where we will find Gwen each time we visit. Gwen spends her day sitting quietly in her chair and walking slowly around the space where she likes to be. During activities, Gwen continues to choose her space – away from the center of things, enjoying life from the sidelines. Often Gwen can be seen moving her foot or tapping her hands to the beat of the music played by our music therapist, Chie. Visiting with Gwen, we are invited into her world, a mysterious world that is often difficult to understand for those of us who visit. A religious person throughout her life, Gwen now is unable to appreciate everyday prayers and previously familiar scripture passages. Occasionally, Gwen seems to recognize traditional hymns, shown by her head nodding in time with the music. Often, Gwen’s caregivers must feed her as she sometimes does not recognize food or what she is to do with her food.

Early on a quiet Sunday morning, Gwen’s roommate Katherine died peacefully after a period of ten days in bed. During the time they were roommates, the only time Gwen and Katherine, who also had Alzheimer’s, actually were together was during the hours when they were in bed each night. They were roommates who knew each other only through their presence to one another as they rested in their beds. Gwen, who was up, dressed and sitting in her favorite chair when Katherine died, kept walking down the hallway toward her room. Caregivers redirected Gwen back to her chair only to find her again attempting to go back down the hallway to her room. Gwen’s nurse, John, remarked how different this was for Gwen, who came down the hallway only as part of her daily care needs when accompanied by her caregivers. John raised the question, “Do you suppose Gwen knows what’s going on?”

When the funeral directors arrived, they brought the stretcher past Gwen and down the hallway to the room she had shared with Katherine. Gwen again made her way into the hallway. At this point we began to realize that Gwen’s behavior definitely seemed to be related to the activity around Katherine’s death. We realized we should invite Gwen to go with her roommate’s body to the waiting hearse. NDLTCC has a long tradition of inviting family, staff, other residents to accompany the body of our deceased residents, who are covered in our “quilt of compassion”, to the doorway through which they first entered. Dee Dee and Anne, two of our nursing assistants, quickly got a wheelchair for Gwen, who gladly sat in it. Gwen joined the procession to the reception area at which time I told her it was time to say goodbye to Katherine. Gwen reached up with her hand and waved toward the quilt covered stretcher. In amazement at Gwen’s ability to be present to the moment, I asked her if she would like to say a prayer for Katherine and she nodded a “yes”. I began the Lord’s Prayer and Gwen joined in, praying a third of the prayer and nodding in recognition of the rest of the prayer.

Our attempts to be sensitive to and to enter Gwen’s reality richly rewarded each of us who were present that morning. The compassionate care that seeks to honor and respect the dignity of each person, the hallmarks of NDLTCC, left us in awe of what we had just witnessed. Gwen brought us to a place of deeper awareness, a place of wonder and mystery…

As the disciples on the road to Emmaus experienced the Risen Jesus with them in the breaking of the bread, we too echoed their wonder: “Were not our hearts burning within us?… “ [Luke 24:32] … and were not our eyes filled with tears?...

Thank you Gwen for allowing us to share so wonder-fully in your world the morning your roommate Katherine died.

*Names used with permission

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