Rev. Stephen W. Overall on listening care-fully

The Healing Storyteller

Several months ago, while on ‘Day Duty’ as Chaplain On-Call, I received an urgent referral to see an elderly female patient undergoing treatment for a brittle diabetic condition.

When I arrived, the nurse was attempting to find a suitable vein to prepare her patient for dialysis. The nurse was not pleased that I arrived when I did, as she wanted to complete her procedure before my time with the patient. The patient, however, insisted she wanted to speak with the Chaplain first and invited the nurse to leave.

After almost a half hour of sitting and listening to the patient tell her story … a recitation which included profound memories of having survived multiple abusive relationships, leaving her native country, coming to the United States as an ‘undocumented alien’, providing for her children’s needs including paying for each one’s college education. Now in her late eighties, she had become very ill and poor with little to no support from her children, who she said, “no longer needed Mom now that her money was gone.”

Her story was very sad but she told it with such passion and energy, I could only sit quietly and listen; before leaving, I asked if she would mind telling me why she was so adamant and determined to tell me her story before the nurse could finish her treatment.

She wiped her tears and said: “Chaplain, I am trying to find a way to get through this terrible time in my life and by telling my story to someone who I believe really cares about people hopefully I will find the strength to carry on. I needed you to hear my story so I could feel strong again!”

This patient was able to regain what she feared she might lose, by having a trusted confidant listen ‘care-fully’ and allow her to express what Arthur Frank identifies as the ‘Three Ethics of Self-Story’, i.e., the ethic of recollection, solidarity/commitment and inspiration. [1]

Ministry of presence can mean many things. For me the most important thing is to not only to be a good listener, but to never leave before the patient has had the opportunity to offer their own meaning of the encounter.

Footnote:
[1] Frank, Arthur; The Wounded Storyteller. Chicago: University Of Chicago Press. 1997, pp.131-4.

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