Chaplain Alan Faulkner on hanging out with people

A Different Place to “Be With”

I am now ending my ninth year as chaplain for a private oncology practice. To the best of my knowledge, this is unique in the health care setting. I was recruited by one of the physicians in this practice because of my work with his patients in the hospital setting. I served as chaplain for that unit for about ten years.

My first year was quite a learning experience, even after twelve years as a board certified chaplain. Here I was, one of thirty something employees in a private medical practice, charged with the task of "being with people", while the rest of the staff moved around the office and chemotherapy room, busily doing the numerous tasks required to treat someone with cancer. Not only that, but I did this "being" in front of all three CEO's (Doctors) for eight to nine hours a day. All that I had ever read, believed and thought about this thing we call "ministry of presence" was challenged. I wondered, "Will they really understand what it is I'm doing in this ‘being’?"

I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I was constantly trying to figure out ways to create things that could be seen and heard as a result of my ministry. What kind of programs could I offer, what could I add to this work that they can see, touch, feel, smell, whatever? I remember when it came time for my first evaluation; I approached one of the physicians and said, "I'm used to having some kind of evaluation done yearly in my work. How do you want to go about doing this?" His response was, "If I don't like what you are doing, I will let you know." That was my yearly evaluation.

The past nine years have been a profound lesson in what it means to have a ministry of presence. It's not uncommon for patients to ask me when they first arrive here, "What do you actually do here?" My response now: I have the best job here! I get paid to hang out with people.

"Hanging out" takes the form of getting blankets, offering drinks, offering pillows – all in the name of building relationships, so that when that spiritual or emotional need arises, a trusting and intimate relationship has been formed. I am then given the privilege of entering that space where there is hope, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, grief and all the other ingredients that come with battling this life threatening disease. In that space I find what to me is no different than our hunger for God, profound intimacy!

"Hanging out" IS skilled ministry, something developed over time in this kind of setting. It's not as easy as the observers think. I remember one lady in particular. She was a family member of a patient. After being in the chemotherapy room for about an hour she said, "I could do what you do! I love the Lord!" Maybe she could but probably not.

The truth may be that no one knows what I really do until that time comes when a blanket or a pillow aren't enough. My real work is hidden, hidden in the hospital room, in my office, in the exam room and all those other sacred places we find vulnerability.

It's true. I hang out, hang out outside that sacred door where Holy things happen, waiting for the right time to knock and be invited in.

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